DEFLATED

WOKE UP THIS MORNING to my usual 5AM wake up call; my phone alarm which resembles dancing music from Jamaica.

Oh, to be in Jamaica, or any island paradise.  If I could, I would whisk the kids and Jonathan away to a remote and secluded island and pretend, at least for a time, that the kids are not all growing up so much, that life isn't moving at a record pace.  You see, in my mind, in my island paradise-ish life, the kids would NOT be able to change and grow so quickly, and I would be well and able to not only capture every moment but truly be present.  All other distractions would not exist.

But we are a long way from any island paradise, and I am far from able to create such a life.

Believe me, I have given it my all.  (But I never give up, so I won't give in!)

The circumstances surrounding our little world lately have been heavy. 

I'm tired.

Of course there have been ups with the downs, that's what makes it just a part of life.

But even the ups have been weighty.

In these early morning hours I do a lot of thinking, evaluating, reflecting.  It is good for me, but this morning I am feeling run-down and deflated.  Totally and perfectly normal for this non-perfect body of mine.  Tomorrow will surely be an easier day.  The pain that accompanied my exit from my downy-soft pillows will most assuredly be lessened tomorrow.  Yet, if not, that's okay too, I will plug away until relief comes.

These past few weeks have been humbling; the growth and perspective gained have been appreciated, I feel they have been gifts for me.

In just a few days (oh, happy September everyone!), my birthday will celebrate me becoming 44.  I believe that each year as I look back from this point, I will remember this past Summer (and Spring) as a season of growth and change for me.  And I recognize that it is just the beginning of much more to come.

So, today, I rest.  Tomorrow I tackle.

Happy September.

Comments

[Mar~]

Aunt Mar,
I wanted to post this comment on your blog but it's got me blocked out again: I'm so sorry you are not feeling well. Someday things will settle down for you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help out. Love you.

Marilyn

Hi Marilyn, thanks. Sorry about the blog, don't know what is going on.
Love you,
Aunt Mar~

[Kim]

I will say it again, I wish I was closer so that I could ease some of your load. I am thankful that even when you feel can do no more, Heavenly Father gives you an extra boost of strength.

[Jonathan]

Maybe this week you could rest and tackle next week?

JD

[Tamara Murray]

I'm-a-thinkin' "Tomorrow I tackle" is a great motto!! So, I mixed it up comment-wise by going to an earlier post...just keeping my fingers crossed that I'm Lucky 7!!