I'VE BEEN AVOIDING

 
AND I'M PRETTY SURE

that I am not the only one who has noticed.  :)

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This has been difficult.

*

I don't want it to be difficult because it is also a great blessing and privilege.

Bittersweet.

Saying goodbye was hard, much harder than other goodbyes.  Each goodbye, from Kindergarten - College, seems now to have been a stepping stone which led to this one.  

It's the distance, the inaccessibility, the unknown, and let's face it - two years feels like a long time, that all lends to the feeling of sadness.

I haven't been able to post the photos yet, seeing them still turns me into mush but today is the day.

There is now a hole in our family that can only be filled by Nathan.  Honestly, shouldn't it be that way?  

But our family is changing and growing; it's a beautiful thing that this is how our change is beginning.

So, yes there have been lots of tears, from me (and Emily).

Yet, I feel a sense of peace knowing that he is giving these two years to live beyond his known abilities and his comforts in order to serve our Lord and the people of Argentina.

He was so very ready and excited to get going.  His time at home before he left felt like torture to him, he just wanted to begin his mission.  His slight obstacles did not get him down, I am grateful for that.

All of the things I had hoped would happen before he left really didn't happen.  I had such high hopes and expectations for that precious time.  But with one thing after another happening and too much sickness in the house, those expectations of mine had to be forgotten. 

However - the last day he was home, we had a mini Thanksgiving dinner (poor Jonathan was too sick to join us) for Nathan and he opened a few Christmas presents.  All were items he needed for his mission but he didn't know I had them - and they were wrapped!  He was happily surprised.

Meg could not hug Nathan enough before he left!

We were super busy while we were in UT.  We had no down time, we were going full speed, non-stop!  We did fit in a couple of fun dinners though.

Jonathan's parents met us for dinner just after we arrived in SLC.  They told Nathan some funny personal stories, he thoroughly enjoyed those. 

Tuesday night we went to dinner with my niece, Karen and her husband, Tyler (I like to refer to him as my newest nephew), our friend Kilee and Nathan's friends from college: Holly, Jordan and Brian.  Talk about impressive young adults!  I enjoyed that dinner so much.

I failed to take photos of either dinner though and I feel sad about that!  Sorry, everyone!  Clearly my head was not in the game!

We also really missed Jonathan.  Jon, I wish that you could have been there for everything, it would have been so nice to have you with us.

And then it was time to say goodbye, or rather "See ya later."

First Nathan had to tease me about my shoes...which I am sorry you cannot see in the pictures, they are cute!

But I let him know that no matter how "girly" my shoes seemed, I could still pick him up while wearing them...and then I did.  (Even though he tried really hard to stay grounded!)

BEWARE:  Lots of photos to follow...if you are sick of us, turn back now!

Good thing he can't see these, he would start teasing me about my "big mouth" too!  :}

On Tuesday, we shared a really delicious caramel apple together; the caramel was covered in white chocolate and then rolled in cinnamon sugar.  Oh my!  He took the first bite and didn't get any apple.  He told me to take a big enough bite that I would get some apple with the caramel mixture, when I did, half the apple came with it!  My face had caramel, chocolate and cinnamon sugar all over it!  The apple was juicy which made for even more mess.  Nathan laughed and laughed about that!  He could not stop teasing me about my big mouth.  (It really is big!) 

And here is that big mouth again!  But notice that he did get off the ground (a little).

My sister kept clicking away with the camera while we were interacting.

So beautiful there!  The colors on the hills were refreshingly vibrant. We are across the street from where I had to drop him off.

Fixing his tie.

"Love you, Nathan.  You will do great things." 

 

Two new missionaries in the photo - flanking the left and right, Nathan on the right.  The other two young men are helping with luggage. 

Comments

[Marilyn]

What sweet pictures!! I love Nathan! I'm so glad he got to enjoy a mini Christmas and Thanksgiving. Hopefully you are doing well and your family is feeling better. Especially Smash and Uncle Jonathan!!

[Melanie Eickbush]

Ok, I'm crying. I have had a long day. I have had bronchitis for two weeks. So bad that I had to be on oxygen at home for two days. I am making excuses. I am really crying not because I am tired or sick, I am crying because I remember Nathan as a 6 year old boy who was always an example to my children, even at a young age, my toddlers looked up to him. He is a good boy. You should be proud. I can't imagine saying goodbye to one of my children for two years and I admire your faith in the Lord. I admire your whole family. When we watched the last Christmas DVD of your family that you sent, Dave said to our children "do you notice something about their family?" The kids said "what?" Dave said to them " you can see how much they love each other". And that is the truth. Your family is a great example of a "close" family. Not many families achieve this. Congratulations on raising such a wonderful and remarkable young man. I miss living close enough to interact and see this first hand. I wish you comfort as you miss his presence in your family. Love to all of you.
Melanie

[Jill Shelley]

I don't think I have ever cried as much reading any one post like I did with this one. Oh wow. Those pictures. I could feel it. OH my. It's brutal isn't it? There is no place you would rather Nathan be right now, you are so so so proud of him, but yet, it is brutal as a mom. It's tough. If I didn't know so clearly, so well that this church is true, I never could have said goodbye for now.

[Holly]

I LOVE the pictures!!! Especially of you picking up Nathan and all the hugging... they are so cute :) He truly will be an amazing missionary. Thank you so much for letting me come out to dinner with you and Nathan. I really enjoyed it a lot!

[toni]

omygoodness......i am crying! very well written....hopefully "getting it out there" in black and white has helped...i'll say a prayer for you :-)

[Jonathan]

He couldn't be involved in any greater work at this point in his life.

JD

[Lori Tolbert]

I'm not teary ... I'm not sniffling ... I'm SOBBING as I read this and view the sweet pictures of you and Nathan.

[Stacy]

Me crying as well! Wow. My favorite is the one of you kissing his cheek while holding his face in your hands. Just as a mother does to her babies. Your family is such a beautiful example. Love you all!

Stacy